what’s in your loved one that’s beyond compare?
what do we treasure about our love one that is beyond compare (or to rephrase that can not be compared)? sige na gani! in kanto boy terms, "paano mo mapamatud-an nga wala mo ginagamit lang ang imo karelasyon?"
as i noticed most people choose their partner based on physical appearance and attractiveness. by the time their bodies get bloated (a usual occurence in pregnancy and going to beer junkies) a different assumption of the situation is taken in. when people primarily treasure their partner because of sex(iness) and displayability (what a word!), then the 84% probability that atleast one of the partners is cheating is holding ground (on average 60% of people do, so its a combined 84% probabability that atleast one seriously cheats in a lifetime while presenting a smile to their kids when going home..hehehe). so enough with the physical comparisons because our only body depreciates and the insatiability of wants only increases. that’s morethan common sense!hehehe
some people choose their partner primarily on intellect. this is less of a deteriorating facet. if you found a superbly intellectual partner, its less likely you’ll find a more intelligent one (because finding a sexier choice is easier..hehehe) but it is also inevitable that people are only getting smarter. so as to shaken this choice, when a new intelligent human being just presents itself from mere social probabilities.hehehe
on wealth, there are families broken because one partner became broke! also, some expectations on earning potential is not met. their is also a risk that a chosen partner has a disastrous spending problem which might again rock the boat when things get rough or a better choice promote itself. people are oftentimes blinded by money (infact the secret of successful individuals is to always choose ideas before money)
there is always a wealthier person, a sexier person, a more intelligent person and other comparisons which can be presented in a more dramatic superlative adjective.hehehe people who never consider this possibility will ofcourse blindly fall to its trap. i guess not morethan 90% could say they had not used this simple parameters on choosing the one they have now.. i wanted to hear things that may sound "weird". something distinct you like in a person that is beyond compare but will be of no value to most people. what’s valuable to you (which you can exchange to all of the above parameters) that’s actually of no real value?
a cynic view, are we just silver coating on the word "love", a real need to "use" people if we value them on intellect, wealth or physical attraction? can their be "love" minus the "use"?
just joking, after your valentine spending rituals!
February 14th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
ahhmm….
March 5th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
hope the whole article fits….
COMMITMENT
The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love.
It’s easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely.
It also means shutting one’s heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is I why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe.
In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner’s. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. It is false to believe that two lovers love each other to the same degree.
We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn’t just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man.
Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him “I love you” and you’re telling the truth. But how
much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him?
The greatest test of true love is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. There can be no doubting this.
I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain.
A lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one’s love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it’s OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved.
If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.
On the other hand, look carefully at lovers who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.
March 13th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
hmmm…very enlightening one Jay…now i get to understand people better….hahaha…thanks…the articles “fits”!
i think..whats in our loved one that’s beyond compare?!
our commitment for them…that despite their flaws and edge over others, we still accept them..love …care and stay loyal…and committed…