alzheimer-free

for the past days i was afraid and excited!

i was afraid that i can’t handle this oppurtunity that god beyond comprehension allowed me to have and i was excited that this might just be the oppurtunity that god provided to me to afford a decent family life.  this oppurtunity is sm prime holdings approval of my 4-year on process concept profile!  a satellite tv office inside sm malls.  im afraid that i can’t handle the 10,000 subscribers of panay and the 400 or so being added each month.  im afraid that i can’t handle the financial requirements of the subscriptions (10,000 x 690 subscription/month) is 6.9M.  AccuDish will earn 10% from that. because of the amazement of dream satellite tv’s top execs of our company breaking into the sm mall fortress that had been eluding them for years (for non provincial residing people, this is the best biz site in a provincial setting) they offered us from 4,000 margin per new installation at a minimum.  an out of sm dealership can handle 100 new subscriptions a month at 2000 margin per new installation.  i’m realistically expecting at least this number when the ship runs calm.  and mind that each time we service non-warrantied subscribers from other dealers we could charge 1,000 at a minimum.  im expecting 10% of the market on the minimum, 60% on the maximum and a likely 25-30% on the average.

the above paragraph is my fear.  i fear that i have most of the pieces of this puzzle. i have time and tested experience on satellite systems (even on hacking the firmwares), i have a long-trained experienced core staff for this, i have the support of dream’s top execs because of amazement, i have the support of sm prime because of our accumosaic concept and being bullish, brilliant in a product innovation sense and young! as of now, i have only the amount to support 1 day of inventory requirement and initial development of site.  even if dream would provide me beyond comprehensible credit lines because of long relationships and track record, i am very fearful!

now, where’s the excitement part? i was excited to tell her after that intro that maybe this is the thing that could help us afford to have a decent family life. a respectable duty for our future kids and the likes.  but i was dismayed the past week, it can’t even reach to the above paragraphs.  she says "dali lang, busy gd." and then cuts. that’s 12mn! i know that sgv is that squeezingly efficient with their personnel so i understood continously.  but as the days past by all of my positivist thoughts are slowly loosing morale.  so this evening i forced the issue and told her my piece.  we ended up arguing about time and attention because she would want the topic cutted as fast as possible (maybe because of work pressure that i still understand). i never had the chance to tell her how excited i am to start a family with her.  well maybe its not meant to be.  i’m sad.  but i never have the guilt feelings.  i never felt i did anything wrong.  unlike the previous instances where i’m fabricating problems because i may have been more interested with business, some women or some other stuff. 

i still respect her. this is the consequence of loving a successful person.  but all i wanted was for her to listen without arguing about petty things for 10 minutes to maybe feel happier amidst pressure cooker situations! just listen and nothing else! am i too selfish to continually call for 20 or more times the previous week for a solemn 10 minutes?

daw kasala.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 at 5:17 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.