alzheimer-free

again, im trying to intellectualize something unintellectual.

crystal is the best thing that ever happened in my life.  even better than my parents for some reasons.  she’s the only person that helped me place my life on a proper perspective.  she made me appreciate spirituality over any material advantages that may be given from any misuse of intellect.  she provided a balance of spirit and a guidepoint to doing things the christian way.

but why did i ask to be free for no usual reason of a third party or whatever?  i have a lot of previous issues that she helped me solve.  like the issue of feeling unfit for her.  she answered by giving me the courage to expand my possibilities for using intellect on a legal and christian way.  she gave me the perseverance to be the best that i can be in creating and developing small businesses from nothing, because i know that she will always be improving her great qualities in infinite and dramatic fashion.  there are also a lot of other issues that we have solved together.  and the reason might be because i believe that we are both "essentially good" people to wither any problem.  our relationship can never have the possibility of failure because of this.  and what struck me was a lesson from our post grad management class that states "for something to be ______ it should have a possibilty of failure"

yes its true.  ours can never have that possibility because of being good persons by nature.  we can always answer and solve any problems positively.  even if its hurtful i always ask her if i can do something that might hurt usual female partners for some excellent reason.  with it i finally released some long haunting issues by doing these things.  that’s why i can never really cheat because i ask and then try to intellectualize it to have a christian focus.  and it always turn out to be a helpful experience.

as for this decision, i said that for us to truly appreciate trancending to a level of family life we should improve (or i for that matter) our way of viewing life and relationships which can’t be done from the inside.  i want to look from the outside looking in.  i was also sad that i made her feel bad pero i think that this is better than jumping to a married life and then being not so sure if there are essential qualities in the relationship if the obvious helpful "works" will be drawn out.

thank you for the 5 years good friend.  i wish that this could result in either of this two things, "to be lovers morethan friends" of "to appreciate that we have made a good decision on letting go coz we are just good people by nature who looks at not being able to work out anything as a failure".

thank you.